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Anyone who has ever performed a search on Google has surely had strange results pop up in Google’s suggested search results. In fact, there’s an entire book on these strange results called “Whoogles”—which stands for “who would Google that?”
Because our jobs here at Blue Corona often take us deep into the endless data that Google Analytics has to offer, we often wonder the same exact question when searching through our and our clients’ keywords.
They give us a pretty good laugh here at the office, so we figured we’d share some of the most unusual search queries we find with our blog readers. Happy Friday and enjoy:
If by crumby you mean I get Dorito crumbs on my keyboard when I’m writing copy, then yes.
“blue + corona + band”
Where? Did you guys start a band without me? I hate you.
“I can’t watch jersey shore on my tablet”
Is it sad that I know from experience that MTV doesn’t let you watch shows on MTV.com from a tablet? Also, this is a first world problem if I’ve ever heard one.
“can alchohol be used to clean water cooler”
As Blue Corona’s office lush, I think “alchohol” can probably solve any of your problems. Just drink till your water cooler looks clean.
“if I have toads in my toilet does it mean my sewer line is damaged?”
You toadally have a plumbing problem, dude.
“dog water cooler bowl that takes crystal water”
You, my friend, have a high maintenance dog. Ours drinks out of the toilet.
Speaking of toilet, I feel like the following searchers have never heard of a trash can:
“can you flush baby wipes in the toilet”
“clog toilet with disinfectant cloth”
“clogged toilet with swiffer”
“toilet bowl clogged with dental floss”
“will a sock clog sewer line”
But apparently, the only thing worse than having a toilet clogged with a sock is being 40:
“help i am 40”
“help i am 40 and feel old”
“40 years old feel like crap”
“is it normal to feel crappy after 40?”
“i am 40 and I don’t know what to do”
“why is it bad to be 40 years old”
With all those search queries behind us, it doesn’t surprise me when we also see searches like
“how to regain youth”
Drink more “alchohol” and watch more Jersey Shore on your tablet.
“animals that are cranky”
They’re probably cranky because you don’t have water cool bowls that take crystal water for them.
“duckless hvac maryland”
I normally prefer my HVAC system without ducks, as well.
“how safe when you breath inhale stain color hardwood floor”
Is that what the kids are doing these days?
“flashing a chimney step by step”
Step 1: find an unsuspecting chimney. Step 2: lift up your shirt.
And last but not least, presented without comment:
“electricians do it with the lights on”
What’s the funniest or most unusual keyword phrase you’ve seen in your Google Analytics reports? Follow us on Twitter and share them with us! Be sure to include @bluecorona and #sillysearches in your tweets.
About The Author: Blue Corona is a data-driven online marketing company with offices in Gaithersburg, MD and Charlotte, N.C.
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